Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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