I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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