Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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