Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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