New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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