dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
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At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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