I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
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He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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