So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
