Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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