just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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