420 ftw
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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