That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
