So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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