What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
