I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize