God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
