Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
