I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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