Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
