I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
