ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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