Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
