I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
