Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
