swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
What a dumb baby whore.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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