Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
