saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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