forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
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I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
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You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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