she smelled like a LAN party
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
