I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
