Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I supernannyed him into submission
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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