The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
