New invention idea: vibrating tampons
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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