Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
