he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i wish my penis had a tongue
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just forgot I was standing up.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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