Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
