One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize