I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
