girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
