Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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