Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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