So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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