drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Your topless pictures make me question reality
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
