you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
smell my finger.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
