I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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