I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
