Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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