glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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