Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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