No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize