you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
