Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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