before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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