holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
