I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We have started to decorate penises.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
