how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...