Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"