there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
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