You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do