Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant

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(913): View more from Kansas

he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever

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(316): View more from Kansas

I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"

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(804): View more from Virginia

Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(301): View more from Maryland

so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.

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(213): View more from California

putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had

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(+90): View more from Turkey

I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet

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(315): View more from New York

I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.

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