Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?

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  (516): Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me? http://tfl.nu/2ksh
  Replies (63) Good night (6403) Bad night (1537)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.

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  (573): my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake. http://tfl.nu/nq7t
  Replies (49) Good night (2284) Bad night (4578)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it

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  (423): gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it http://tfl.nu/v9kx
  Replies (9) Good night (4173) Bad night (1073)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.

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  (763): there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread. http://tfl.nu/qy40
  Replies (35) Good night (1953) Bad night (8707)
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  (925): View more from California

  We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...

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  (925): We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo... http://tfl.nu/7fya
  Replies (6) Good night (969) Bad night (2300)
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  (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.

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  (867): Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now. http://tfl.nu/u52e
  Replies (9) Good night (982) Bad night (2134)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by

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  (718): Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by http://tfl.nu/75m6
  Replies (8) Good night (2132) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.

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  (724): Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/sfkv
  Replies (7) Good night (969) Bad night (1752)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.

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  (314): I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge. http://tfl.nu/tow2
  Replies (4) Good night (1607) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.

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  (781): I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name. http://tfl.nu/dhok
  Replies (15) Good night (714) Bad night (1267)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.

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  (205): All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok. http://tfl.nu/h2pz
  Replies (1) Good night (1147) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo

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  (402): dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo http://tfl.nu/g9sl
  Replies (7) Good night (794) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.

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  (901): You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM. http://tfl.nu/iytk
  Replies (1) Good night (725) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?

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  (360): I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home? http://tfl.nu/x6vd
  Replies (1) Good night (471) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"

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  (734): The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!" http://tfl.nu/glab
  Replies (3) Good night (611) Bad night (277)

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