oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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