Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
