I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
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Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize